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On Coughers and Clappers

Dezember 9, 2010

A Poem

    The Coughers of Cologne
    have joined forces with Cologne Clappers
    and established the Cough and Clap Society
    a non-profit-making organization
    whose aim it is
    to guarantee each concertgoer’s right
    to cough and applaud
    Attempts by unfeeling artists and impresarios
    to question such privileges
    have led to a Coughers and Clappers initiative
    Members are required to applaud
    immediately after sublime codas
    and cough distinctly
    during expressive silences
    Distinct coughing is of paramount importance
    to stifle or muffle it
    forbidden on pain of expulsion
    Coughers of outstanding tenacity
    are awarded the Coughing Rhinemaiden
    a handsome if slightly baroque appendage
    to be worn around the neck
    The C & C‘ recent merger
    with the New York Sneezers
    and the London Whistlers
    raises high hopes
    for Cologne’s musical future.

by Alfred Brendel, taken from ONE FINGER TOO MANY
Faber Poetry Series
Alfred Brendel website

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